The Prairie Oyster

“I feel sorry for people who don’t drink. When they wake up in the morning that’s as good as they’re going to feel all day.” ~ Frank Sinatra

Once, there was a time when the gods convened to give man the ability to drink without recourse. Typically around college, kids seem to have the ability to drink shot after terrible shot, raise Cain deep into the night, and then wake up early-ish the next and run a marathon.

“Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.” ~ Winston Churchill

Drink Responsibly

This recommendation has to come before every tip on drinking. Alcohol is one of the pleasures of life, but like most vices, it is a poison. While wine and wormwood make the world go round, they also make it come crashing down.

Drink sir, is a great provoker of three things… nose painting, sleep and urine. Lechery, sir, it provokes, and unprovokes; it provokes the desire but takes away the performance.” — Shakespeare’s Macbeth

Pregame

Some night’s come as a surprise. Happy hour turns into shots, and there is no saving your soul. Drink water and pray.

“Work is the curse of the drinking classes.” ~ Oscar Wilde

During the Game

Ever notice that athletes don’t drink sugary water during the game anymore? That’s because it serves no purpose but to slow your body down. Sure, you see the branding everywhere, but typically inside those cups is nothing but water.

“I drink to make other people more interesting.” ~ Ernest Hemingway

Post-Game

Now comes the pivotal moment: recovery. Just like a post-workout shake is needed after the gym for maximum recovery, so too does your liver need a boost before bed.

“The only way that I could figure they could improve upon Coca-Cola, one of life’s most delightful elixirs, which studies prove will heal the sick and occasionally raise the dead, is to put bourbon in it.” ~ Lewis Grizzard

The Morning After

Midol

“Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.” ~ Ernest Hemingway

The Playbook

  1. Emergen-C
  2. Drink, Water, Repeat
  3. Cheers and Pedialyte
  4. Midol and Liquid I.V.
  5. Coffee, Bacon and Eggs (Optional)

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Brock Vickers

Brock Vickers

I am an actor and writer who loves creating content and telling stories.